Let Me Be the One by Jo Goodman

Author:Jo Goodman [Goodman, Jo]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2010-02-28T00:00:00+00:00

Elizabeth had never fainted and she willed herself not to do so now. She wished that it was appropriate for North to take her arm. She would have been grateful for his support. Instead he stood beside her, seemingly at his ease while her entire body thrummed with the strength of nerves pulled taut.

She lifted the small bouquet she held just enough to catch the delicate fragrance of lilies-of-the-field. Better that Louise should have placed smelling salts among the greenery. That at least would have assured she remained upright, if not entirely coherent.

What was the vicar saying? She caught fragments of his opinion on the purpose of marriage, the sanctity of the vows, and the rights and privileges of the contract they were making with each other and with God. Elizabeth had no idea if she agreed with any of it. She kept her focus on the vicar's spectacles. They winked in the sunlight coining through the stained-glass windows and cast a reflection that prevented her from seeing his eyes clearly. It was more difficult not to imagine his censure.

She found no relief by considering what those sitting behind her might be thinking. Lord and Lady Battenburn sat alone on her side of the church, the only people in attendance who were known of long acquaintance. Northam's contingency was scarcely larger. The Compass Club was there, infinitely more sober than the first time Elizabeth had seen them together, and in the first row was the dowager countess. Elizabeth could not know if Northam's friends were on their best behavior because of respect for the occasion or fear of his mother. Elizabeth had only glimpsed her ladyship as she limped past her pew on her way to stand with Northam. What she saw did not ease her mind in the least.

Lady Northam had eyes a few shades lighter than the cobalt blue of her son's, and infinitely more in common with a frozen lake than a halcyon sky. For a moment Elizabeth had not been able to breathe. She still had not fully recovered when it was time to say her vows.

She heard Reverend Rawlings address her inquiringly. His spectacles flashed a spectrum of color at her and broke her concentration. Panicked, she found herself looking to Northam, never questioning but that she would find something in his face to quiet her.

His smile was more than kind; it was understanding. His eyes simply held hers, making neither a demand nor offering judgment. She could change her mind, he seemed to say, but his was set.

The vicar began again, and this time Elizabeth heard herself repeat the vows, her voice clear and steady, the intonation almost heartfelt. She never looked away from Northam, and for this brief passage of time she forgot that anyone save him was with her. Then she was hearing the words again, this time with more resonance and not the slightest hesitation. North made his promises as a knight might express fealty to his lord, pledging not just his loyalty but his life, and the manner of his spoken word left Elizabeth profoundly shaken.

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